Monday, February 2, 2015

Rookie Mistake

**Alternative Title: When I Dip, You Dip, We Dip**

My sister-in-law told me not to do it.

My mother warned me.

I didn't listen.

It started out innocently enough (but then again, doesn't it always?).. just dabbling a bit, so to speak.

But it changed quickly and now my son is a dipping fiend.

I remember it like it was last week (because it was).. Jackson and I were sitting down to our regular lunch of soup, peanut butter crackers, and veggie sticks when I had the grand idea to dip my veggie sticks into Ranch dressing.

This intrigued my son.

I smiled.

"Want to try?" I kindly asked as I passed the bowl of Ranch his direction.

A look of confusion and excitement spread across his little face as he delicately dipped his sweet potato chip into the bowl.

"It's yummy, bubby!" I reassured him as he slowly brought the salty snack to his mouth.

After tasting the cold and creamy deliciousness that is Ranch dressing, he more assertively went in for another dip.. and then another.. and another.

As I cleaned up my messy toddler and table, I beamed with pride; my genius one-year-old was grasping the concept of dipping things (first time mom here, can ya tell?)!

It wasn't until the next morning at breakfast when I fully realized what I had done.

Every morning, Jackson and I have basically the same breakfast: coffee, Belvita Breakfast Biscuits, and oatmeal for mom; Belvita Breakfast Biscuits, Greek Yogurt w/Chia Seeds, and peanut butter crackers for Jackson. As I began my usual routine of dipping my biscuit into my coffee, I noticed my son reaching toward me while grasping onto one of his biscuits.

"What do you need, bud?" I asked, still naive to the situation at hand.

He began to point to my coffee with his biscuit.

"No no, Jax; you wouldn't like coffee!"

That's when his face began to turn bright red and he began to fuss.

"What's wrong bud?" I stupidly asked.

He threw his cracker down in a fit of (bratty) toddler rage.

That's when it occurred to me.

I pushed his Greek yogurt toward him to get his mind off dipping while I lectured him about not throwing food and being nice (or we wouldn't be eating again until lunch), and that's when something clicked in that little 95th percentile head of his. He grabbed another piece of cracker and began to dip it into his Greek yogurt.

I looked on in disgust.

"Whatever floats your boat, kid." I thought to myself as I took another sip of my coffee.

There isn't enough coffee in this world to fix what I have done. Here's a picture from Thursday that shows just how bad this has become:

I ate leftover Chinese food for lunch and he was insistent on dipping his veggie sticks into the left over soy sauce (gross). Not pictured: Jackson dipping his veggie stick into the bowl of mac and cheese minutes beforehand.

If you have children and have yet to make the same mistake I did, I implore you to take my advice and keep your kids far, far away from any type of dip. They already grow up too quickly--there's no sense in speeding up the process by turning them into persistent little dipping monsters.

1 comment:

  1. This is hilarious. Quinn has to have ketchup to dip for chicken nuggets and hot dogs, but won't dip her french fries (most of the time). She also only dips carrots into ranch, no other veggies.


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